How to Raise Body Positive Kids

Written by Rebecca Riley RD, LDN

Edited by Sarah Criscuolo MS, RD, LDN, CSN, CPT

Children who have negative thoughts about their bodies are more likely to have lower self-esteem. This can lead to disordered eating, compulsive exercise, depression, or anxiety, which is why raising body-positive kids is so important for both their physical and mental health. In our society, there is a big focus on bodies, in particular their size. Whether it is through social media or at school, your child will eventually learn this. Therefore, it is important to have age-appropriate conversations with your child about their body throughout their childhood to help them develop a positive relationship with their own body.

There should be no shame or judgment when it comes to anyone’s body. It’s important to note body image can be an issue for all genders and should be discussed with every child. Body issues are particularly high in LGBTQIA+ children.

Parents can struggle with ways to help foster this positive relationship. We are a product of our environment – parents may have to unlearn behaviors they developed which may negatively impact their body image and then could be passed on to their children. It’s common for parents to be concerned about any sudden changes to their child’s appearance or weight. There is also a lot of pressure for parents to do everything “right” the first time, but the reality is that you may make mistakes along the way, and that’s okay. Let’s go over some tips that you can use to help your child be body-positive.

space

Model Healthful Behaviors

It’s good to remember that your child is always listening to you. As a parent, you model behavior for your kids. Therefore, it is important to model a positive outlook toward your own body. Avoid making negative comments about your appearance and avoid engaging in self-critical talk. If you negatively comment about your body, your child can pick up on that and adopt this behavior as normal. If you are still working through your body issues, it’s okay to fake it until you make it – don’t hyper-fixate on your or your child’s weight. If someone comments on your child’s body, you can redirect to the conversion or let them know your family doesn’t comment about people’s bodies.

Focus on modeling a balanced lifestyle with most meals consisting of lean protein, whole grains, dairy, fruits, and vegetables, while also not restricting other foods such as desserts. Children should see you enjoying foods of all kinds so they don’t feel that they should restrict their intake of certain foods. Also, model eating when hungry and stopping when comfortably full can be helpful as they get older.

space

Encourage Supportive Habits

Instead of focusing on body appearance, focus on supporting a balanced lifestyle that includes physical activity, getting enough sleep, and eating a variety of foods. Stress that all bodies are beautiful and valued and are found in a variety of shapes, sizes, and colors. Every individual is unique and we can encourage the appreciation for differences!

space

Avoid Food Labels

Avoiding food labels like “good” or “bad” can help promote a positive relationship with food. It can feel easy to use these labels to teach your children about food, but this can cause kids to feel guilt or shame if they eat “bad” foods. Attaching moral value to foods can increase the risk of an eating disorder. Instead, it can be helpful to use terms like “quick energy” or “slow energy foods” if you need terms to switch out with the old, as these have no moral value attached. Using our activities or hunger levels around each meal helps us to choose which foods to eat, promoting moderation and balance in eating and listening to our bodies rather than encouraging restrictive diets. Over-restricting certain foods can cause many negative consequences for your child.

If you want to teach your child more about nutrition, you can do so while avoiding assigning moral values to foods. A good place to start is to review how the natural color of a food indicates different nutrients it contains, which is why our body why it’s important to focus on eating a variety of colors. For example, carrots are orange so they provide your body with Vitamin A, which is good for your eyes.

space

Encourage Physical Activity

Making exercise fun by playing games, sports, dancing etc. can show your child how to enjoy and appreciate what your body can do for you. Physical activity can help your child have a more positive outlook on their body. Practice makes perfect, so encourage them to keep trying even if they aren’t the best when they first start. Often the best form of exercise is the one your child enjoys, and it’s easy for you and your child to keep the habit if it’s fun for your child. Explain to your child the importance of exercise for reasons like staying strong rather using exercise as punishment or for appearance.

The American Academy of Pediatrics recommends that children ages 1–3 years engage in at least 60 minutes and up to several hours per day, with at least 30 minutes as structured physical activity (initiated and planned by an adult). Children ages 3–5 years should engage in at least 60 minutes and up to several hours of unstructured physical activity (started by the child or “free play”) daily. Both groups should not be sedentary for more than 60 minutes at a time except when sleeping.

It is recommended that ages 5–21 years old engage in ≥60 minutes of physical activity each day, while most of the ≥60 minutes of physical activity should be either moderate or vigorous-intensity aerobic physical activity. Vigorous, muscle-strengthening, and bone-strengthening activity should take place on at least 3 days per week. Muscle strengthening is not just limited to lifting weights, but also includes running, playing in a jungle gym, and climbing trees. These activities also help children strengthen their bones due to the influence of impact on bone growth.

space

Form Trust

Focus on your child’s abilities or behaviors rather than appearance. Having a foundation of trust with your child is so important, and listening to what your child has to say will help foster this. With that trust, your child will feel safe when it comes to discussing their concerns or feelings with you. Be open to conversions about body image, self-esteem, and any other challenges they may face.

space

Review Social Media

It’s good to set screen time limits, as large amounts of screen time can cause an increase in negative thoughts about one’s body. You can also ask your child to share what they have been watching with you. Depending on the age of your child, you may be able to assist by analyzing media messages related to body image. Increased social media use can cause an increase in body comparison, so encourage your child not to compare themselves to others as everyone is unique and worthy, as they are.

space

Overall, it’s vital to start supporting your child early on to have a positive body image, which you can do through modeling, healthy habits, avoiding food labels, building trust, and reviewing social media. There are many ways parents can help support kids to have a healthy relationship with their bodies. If you notice your child has mentioned having negative thoughts about their body or other concerning behavior, it’s best to consult a healthcare professional. Your child’s pediatrician may be able to help find an appropriate therapist or registered dietitian. At Karuna, we have multiple registered dietitians who focus on pediatrics and can help you raise body-positive children. Use the button below to set up an intake!

space

References:

1. Bringing Body Kindness in the Family with Leslie Schilling (episode 37). (2017, June). Retrieved January 4, 2024, from https://open.spotify.com/episode/3kiuQKgBnEninjC30R8Uw8
2. Department of Health & Human Services. (2004, June 15). Body image – tips for parents. Better Health Channel. https://www.betterhealth.vic.gov.au/health/healthyliving/body-image-tips-for-parents
3. Hagan, J. F., Shaw, J. S., & Duncan, P. M. (2017). Bright futures: Guidelines for health supervision of infants, children, and adolescents. Bright Futures/American Academy of Pediatrics.
4. How To Talk (And Not Talk) About Body Image (season 3, episode 41). (2023, October). Dear Media. Retrieved January 4, 2024, from https://open.spotify.com/episode/3n2Iq3qr7GRuQ19hEnOCjb