Dealing with Diet Talk at the Table

Written By: Alysia Vega, RD, LDN, CPT

Holidays are often filled with family time and traditions. However, as we enter the holiday season, navigating diet talk is a conversation I find myself having with my clients daily. Aunt Sally is talking about her Ozempic journey, and your cousin is sharing her newest fad diet. Diet talk is the table guest we all wish would skip family dinner, but unfortunately is always there. So, what do we do with this uninvited guest? Comments about weight, calories and diets can lead to many people feeling anxious, judged or disconnected. At Karuna, we believe the holidays should be about nourishment – both physical and emotional – not guilt or shame.

If you’ve ever felt uncomfortable or triggered by diet talk at the table, know that you’re not alone! Here are some strategies to help you navigate these conversations while protecting your peace.

Why Diet Talk is Harmful:

Diet talk can reinforce harmful narratives about food and body image, making it harder to enjoy the meal or the moment. Research shows that these diet focused comments can have long-term consequences. For example, one study found that if a mom talks about her own weight, there is a greater use of unhealthy and extreme weight control behaviors among their daughters. This highlights how diet talk not only impacts our own well-being but can also perpetuate unhealthy attitudes and behaviors in those around us.

How to Handle Diet Talk:

1) Redirect the Conversation

When diet talk arises, gently steer the discussion in a different direction. Here is an example:

• If someone says: “I’m being so bad for eating this pie.”
  You can respond with: “This pie is delicious! Did you make it yourself?”

2) Set Boundaries

You are allowed to establish boundaries that prioritize your mental and emotional well-being. This may look different for everyone, whether addressed ahead of time by letting family members know you’d like to focus on connection instead of body talk this year, or by setting a boundary in the moment.

• Example: “I’m focusing on enjoying my food without judgment, so I’d prefer we stay away from diet talk”

3) Speak Up (If You Feel Comfortable)

You are allowed to advocate for yourself and speak up. If a comment feels harmful or triggers an emotional response, it’s okay to politely address it. For example:

• “I’m working on having a healthier relationship with food, so I’d prefer not to talk about calories or diets right now.”
• “Let’s focus on enjoying the meal and each other’s company rather than what’s on our plates.”

Remember, you’re not responsible for how others react to your boundaries. You’re simply advocating for your well-being.

4) Take Space

Sometimes, stepping away is what feels needed, and that is okay! Take the time to breathe, reset, ground yourself, or check in with a support. This could look like excusing yourself to step outside for fresh air, practicing a short grounding technique, or texting a friend or loved one for encouragement. Taking this time for yourself can help you re-center and return to the gathering feeling more grounded.

Self-compassion is key!

Diet talk conversations are difficult to navigate and can be emotionally exhausting, so don’t forget to be kind to yourself. Acknowledging the discomfort you feel and meeting it with kindness can go a long way. Practice self-compassion by acknowledging how challenging these situations can be. Remind yourself that your worth is not defined by your body size or food choices and that you are doing your best to prioritize your well-being.

A few ways to practice self-compassion include:

• Remind yourself during the meal “I deserve to enjoy this meal and time with loved ones without judgement”
• Take a few deep breaths when feeling overwhelmed

Navigating these conversations can be challenging! Remember, you don’t have to tackle this alone, whether that is support from your treatment team or a loved one at the holiday table. Be proud of any steps you take this holiday season to protect your well-being, whether it’s redirecting a conversation, setting a boundary, or practicing self-compassion.

If you’re looking for additional support, schedule an intake with one of our dietitians today. Together, we can create a plan that helps you navigate diet talk, set boundaries, and enjoy the holiday season with confidence and joy.

References:

https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC2921129/