How to Compliment a Guy on His Body (Spoiler: Maybe Just… Don’t?)

Welcome to your step-by-step guide on how to compliment a guy on his body.

Step 1: Don’t.

Thanks for coming to our TED Talk!

HA! Okay, okay—April Fools. But also… not really.

The idea that anyone, anywhere, wrote a blog post titled “how to compliment a guy on his body” might seem funny at first. Until you remember how deeply our culture has twisted the idea of self-worth into something that can apparently be built or broken by someone else’s comment on your abs, your arms, your “you don’t even look like you have kids!” waistline.

Let’s take a second to ask: why is it so normal to comment on bodies? Why do we assume it’s okay—even kind—to tell someone, “You’ve lost weight!” when we have no idea what’s behind the change?

Maybe it was cancer.

Maybe it was grief.

Maybe it was an eating disorder.

Maybe it was the result of over-exercising to cope with trauma.

And yes, maybe that person’s a guy.

Or, maybe they’re transgender. Maybe they’re non-binary. Maybe they’re someone who’s spent their entire life trying to feel safe in their own skin.

 

Body Image Struggles Aren’t Just a “Female Issue”

Here’s the thing: we’ve made some progress (sort of) talking about unrealistic beauty standards and body image issues… but mostly through a female lens. Meanwhile, people of all genders—including cisgender men, trans men, non-binary folks, and anyone who doesn’t fit the mold—are being crushed under cultural expectations to look a certain way.

Be lean but strong. Be big but not “too” big. Be muscular but natural. Be visibly tough, but not trying too hard.

And the kicker? Most of them are suffering in silence.

According to this 2019 paper titled “Eating Disorders in Males,” men account for 1 in 4 eating disorder diagnoses, but their symptoms are often overlooked or misdiagnosed. Many of these men aren’t restricting calories to be “thin.” They’re over-exercising, obsessively bulking, and using dangerous supplements to achieve what they’ve been told a “fit man” looks like.

As the National Eating Disorders Association reports, “boys and men with eating disorders face unique challenges in recognition, diagnosis, and treatment.” Their behaviors are often masked as “healthy” or “disciplined”—when in fact they’re deeply disordered.

And this doesn’t even begin to cover how these issues impact trans and non-binary individuals, whose experiences with body image are often compounded by gender dysphoria, erasure, and a lack of affirming care.

So when we toss out a well-meaning “You look amazing!” to someone who’s been changing—without knowing why—we might unknowingly be validating a cycle of harm.

 

The Problem with “Nice Arms, Bro”

You might think, “But I’m just being nice!”

Totally get it. But compliments on someone’s body—even the flattering ones—are still reinforcing a message that how we look is what matters most. That someone’s value can be measured in inches or pounds. That a good day is one where your pants feel loose, and a bad day is one where they don’t.

And let’s not forget: “nice arms” to one person might mean “oh, I wasn’t enough before?” to someone else.

So even when it’s meant as encouragement, these compliments often come from a culture that celebrates certain bodies while dismissing others. And that doesn’t exactly scream “self-love.”

 

What Is Self-Love, Then?

At Karuna, we’re big fans of self-love. The real kind. The kind that has nothing to do with whether someone else thinks your body is “hot” today.

Self-love is about honoring your body as it is—not how it “should” be. It’s about nurturing a relationship with yourself that’s rooted in care, not comparison.

When we focus our attention on how to compliment a guy on his body (or anyone on their body), we risk missing what really matters.

Instead of:

“You’ve lost so much weight!”

Try:

“You seem brighter lately. How are you doing?”

Instead of:

“Your chest is looking ripped, yo!”

Try:

“I love how your new gym routine is making you feel happier and more energized.”

Instead of:

“I didn’t recognize you, you look so different!”

Try:

“It’s really good to see you, I missed spending time together”

 

For the Guys (and Everyone Else) Reading This…

We see you.

Maybe you’ve felt pressure to be “cut,” “lean,” or “big.”

Maybe your meals revolve around macros and gym sessions instead of hunger or joy.

Maybe your mental health has taken a hit while no one noticed—because you “look healthy.”

Please know: you’re allowed to have a complicated relationship with your body. You’re allowed to struggle with food. And you absolutely deserve support.

More and more research is shedding light on this issue. A 2024 New York Times article explored how eating disorders in boys are becoming more prevalent and more dangerous—yet still not widely recognized. And according to NYU psychologist Andrea Vazzana in this NPR interview, many of these behaviors are masked by the booming fitness and supplement industries that glorify extremes.

And for our trans and non-binary community, the struggle is real—and often left out of the conversation entirely. Eating disorders and body dissatisfaction are more prevalent in trans and non-binary folks, yet access to affirming treatment remains incredibly limited.

We’re here to say: your worth is not in your body. It’s in how you show up for yourself, how you feel, how you are.

 

So… Should You Compliment a Guy on His Body?

Only if you’d also compliment him on his boundaries, his resilience, his ability to cry at a Pixar movie, his growth in therapy, or how he’s finally sleeping better at night.

Because those things?

THOSE are so hot.

 

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💬 A Note on Language:

This post focuses on the experience of men and masculine-leaning individuals, but we also want to acknowledge that body image struggles and eating disorders affect people of all genders, identities, and expressions—including those who identify outside the binary or outside human constructs altogether. This space is for everyone.

 

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References:

1. Gorrell S & Murray S. October 2019. “Eating Disorders in Males.” Child and Adolescent Psychiatric Clinics of North America. 
2. National Eating Disorder Association. Eating Disorders in Men and Boys. Accessed March 21, 2025.
3. More Adolescent Boys Have Eating Disorders. Two Experts Discuss Why. The New York Times. February 8, 2023. Accessed March 28, 2025.
4. Eating disorders in young men are being masked by muscle bulking and over-exercising. NPR. July 23, 2023. Accessed March 21, 2025.